I am jealous... or hurt. I cant decide which... or maybe both? I tell myself I shouldnt be... that I should accept it the way it is. And over the last few years I have achieved tremendous amount of self control. But... it still hurts.
I cant talk about this anymore. I made certain decisions. I am responsible for them. People warned me. If I chose not to listen then I have no right to complain. Hence... I write vague blogs. Because I cant be too specific either.
I know I was different. I know I am still different. At a point I could easily reassure myself that this is a good thing. Now... I still can... but I dont know if I should any longer.
I know I shouldnt let all this affect me anymore. I shouldnt ask questions. But... pinpricks of pain... in my heart... that is starved.
I wish...
Saturday, December 22, 2012
Saturday, December 1, 2012
So I talked about my blog today... after a long time. And then I couldnt stay away. Even though I'm wasting precious time that should be spent reading The New York Trilogy. But ah well!
Hello Blog! How are you? I know I ignore you a lot! But dont worry... its not you... its me. I do this with anything where I pour my heart out. Sometimes with people too. Very rarely... But I do.
I havent slept three nights in a row. I am convinced I am getting fatter and my hair is thinner. At least if the world ended this year I wouldnt have to worry about my weight anymore! Or maybe I'll get killed faster because I wont be able to run quickly enough! That happens you know... watch zombie movies... you need to run man! But I shall not talk of zombies this late at night. I've already talked a lot about Talaash... I'll stop here.
You know how going through exams is like being pregnant? or maybe you dont. Its just me. But honestly I feel pregnant. The extra weight. The mood swings. The cravings. And the dreams! Oh God the dreams! I can run from everything( or maybe I cant: weight issues) but I cant run from my dreams! Ki Bizzare!
Blog, I wish you were like Dexter's computer, so that when I spoke to you, more like ranted to you, you could reply. I rant to the humans so much. I'm sure the humans are tired of me... they just dont say it thats all.
HIMYM is cool only! The last season got me all teary eyed. I have a feeling I'll end up like Ted, finding true love but getting none. Except I'll be female and fatter, and as Piu points out... an actress(touchwood) and not an architect, so I'll have terrible money issues too!
Ei I will go now! New York Trilogy ke porbe? Amar Blog?
Hello Blog! How are you? I know I ignore you a lot! But dont worry... its not you... its me. I do this with anything where I pour my heart out. Sometimes with people too. Very rarely... But I do.
I havent slept three nights in a row. I am convinced I am getting fatter and my hair is thinner. At least if the world ended this year I wouldnt have to worry about my weight anymore! Or maybe I'll get killed faster because I wont be able to run quickly enough! That happens you know... watch zombie movies... you need to run man! But I shall not talk of zombies this late at night. I've already talked a lot about Talaash... I'll stop here.
You know how going through exams is like being pregnant? or maybe you dont. Its just me. But honestly I feel pregnant. The extra weight. The mood swings. The cravings. And the dreams! Oh God the dreams! I can run from everything( or maybe I cant: weight issues) but I cant run from my dreams! Ki Bizzare!
Blog, I wish you were like Dexter's computer, so that when I spoke to you, more like ranted to you, you could reply. I rant to the humans so much. I'm sure the humans are tired of me... they just dont say it thats all.
HIMYM is cool only! The last season got me all teary eyed. I have a feeling I'll end up like Ted, finding true love but getting none. Except I'll be female and fatter, and as Piu points out... an actress(touchwood) and not an architect, so I'll have terrible money issues too!
Ei I will go now! New York Trilogy ke porbe? Amar Blog?
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