The Sphere of Glass

I walked in
protected by a sphere of glass
which had magical powers,
it gave me the ability
to be detached
from everything
and everyone
around me.

But then you walked in,
aimed blatantly
and broke it.

And the sights
sounds
emotions
that had been on the other side
for a long time
came rushing in
one after the other
overlapping the last.

And it felt as if
someone had breathed life
into my corpse.
And I lived
laughed
loved
felt
for a short while
until you decided
that you had to walk away.

Only then did I look down
at myself
and realized
that the shards of glass
from the sphere you had broken
were embedded in my skin.

I had been too drunk
with happiness
to have noticed it then.
But I notice it now
And I'm bleeding to death.

How I studied documentation...

**In case of multiple authors only first name needs to be inverted:

*In case of two authors:

Basu, Kuhu, and Dipabali Dey. Why smart men want dumb women. Jadavpur University Press. 2010.

*In case of three authors:

Basu, Kuhu, Dipabali Dey, and Rudrani Gongopadhay. Interpreting the Pisces man. Jadavpur University Press. 2010.

*In case of more than three authors, write only the name of the first author followed by et al.

Paul, Sreejata, et al. Why Rhetoric and Composition should not be in the syllabus. Jadavpur University Press. 2010.

A Fairytale Friendship...

Once upon a time...

There were two princesses living in two separate kingdoms far away from each other. The Gods looked down upon them, following their life constantly, because they had been sent to Earth with a special purpose, to relieve their fellow human beings of pain and misery and to love selflessly. They had been given special powers, they could drink in abnormal amounts of pain and not break down, for this was often necessary for fulfilling their purpose on Earth.

But after a while, the Gods saw that the princesses were suffering and were miserable. They faced the world with a smile, but the smile never warmed their own hearts. The gods fell into deep thought, what was to be done?

Then one of the the young Gods-in-training offered a solution. He appealed to the High God, " Sire... I believe these girls need a friend to share their pain with, and in turn lessen it if not dissolve it, so that their hearts are lighter."

The High God liked the solution, and then the search for two girls who could be perfect friends to the princesses began. But no matter how hard they looked, they could not find perfect matches. At last, exhausted, the search was abandoned...

But then the same God-in-training who had suggested the idea in the first place, came up with a suggestion... "Sire, maybe we have looked in the wrong places." The high God was baffled and asked him to explain.

"Sire, why look for two different girls for both of them when they can be with each other."

The High God was extremely happy with this idea and ordered that it shall be carried out.

Then by a twist of fate, one of the princesses landed up in the other one's kingdom for educational purposes. But this in itself wasn't enough. The Gods could help the situation only so much, the rest of the path had to be decided upon by the young princesses themselves.

It took more than six months for them to acknowledge each other. But even after they became bosom friends, something was amiss. There were disagreements, violent ones, even though it was always sorted out later.

But then once, there was a disagreement so huge, that the princesses turned away from each other, thinking this was the end of the friendship for good, and went separate ways to pursue separate destinies, telling the world that they didn't care, but forever carrying the memories within them.

A year passed by. The Gods were growing worried now, because one of the princesses was going through more than she could handle, her world was collapsing. They tried sending replacements for her lost friend, to help ease her pain. But they soon found out that the princess's heart had grown a wall of ice, and no matter how hard they tried, the ice would not melt.

While all the elder Gods were deep in worry, the young to be God looked down upon them and smiled, "My daughters, I know I haven't made a wrong decision, the two of you will rediscover each other, but only after you've discovered yourself."

Then after a year, something good and something bad happened at the same time.

At this point, the other princess had realized that she needed to go back to her friend, for none of them was happy without the other. But she wasn't sure how, she was unsure and scared. But one day the messenger doves came and told her that the dreaded thing had happened, her friend's world had collapsed at last.

She needed no other reason, she set out at once, for she knew that she had to be there for her friend.

When she entered the thunder struck palace of her friend and looked at her, nothing more was needed. No words, no apologies, no explanations.

They stood on the threshold, embracing each other, drowning themselves in joy and in sorrow.

Up above, the Gods rejoiced.

At first there was some trepidation, for they weren't sure if things would be the same again, they weren't sure if the princess whose heart was enclosed in ice could or would love again.

But as the days went by, drowned in happiness, friendship and in love... the ice melted. And though this meant she would once again be vulnerable and open to pain, she thanked God that at last she could feel, and that she had her friend, the other half back...

All the things that are wrong with me...

I have a severe headache....

I dont want to study Bob Dylan...

But at the same time I feel guilty for not studying...

I feel tired but I cant sleep...

I want to cry but the tears wont come...

I want to throw things around my room, scream... yell... But somehow none of those wants actually break through the unnaturally calm surface...

I want to crib to someone... real bad... but I feel terrible about burdening anyone with my problems...

I want to be angry, impulsive... but I am hurt and patient( and nothing alters it).

I want to lose weight... but that never happens... Lucky are the people who slim down due to depression... never happened for me... I actually put on a kilo!! Dang it!!

I want to starve myself... but I cant coz then I'll have gastric pain and that is not such a good idea... firstly coz I am as scared of it as I am of arachnids and coz I have a semester examination in a week...

I want to overdose on spaz and escape this prison for a while... but my morals do not allow that... And I am sure nor would mommy 1 and 2 and bff in bangalore...

I want to get tipsy on wine... just that warm, snugly, happy feeling... but my mom wont allow alcohol in the house( WINE ISN'T EVEN ALCOHOL FOR CHRIST"S SAKE!!!!)

I want to be NOT AFFECTED by all this.... But that's not happening anytime soon...

Well... Now that you all know what a crybaby I am... I shall go back to Dylan( I WONT TAKE IN A WORD!!).

P.S. Minu... you're following my blog!!! Yay!!! =D

How far can you run...
If the prison in within you??

Nightmare??

Every waking minute of my life, I mutter a silent prayer asking that I wake up, and all of this just turns out to be a nightmare!!!

But whom am I kidding? Nightmares don't last this long.... do they? HAHAHAHA =D

Amazing revelations....

I was going through my inbox today because I have over 2000 messages in it and my phone starts misbehaving whenever the number of messages crosses 2000. And then I came across these messages from you which actually said things like... I miss you... Awwlleee I love you!

Seems a little impossible now, eh? Considering you acknowledge me as much as you would acknowledge air.

Anyway... should get back to Untouchable... no matter how boring it is...

My lifelines....

I was reading the second book of The House of Night series today, its called Betrayed. A few minutes ago I read the part where the protagonist, Zoey's best friend Stevie Ray Johnson dies in her arms.

I still cant stop crying... and even a cup of very strong black coffee cant calm me down right now.

Aphrodite, Minu, Rudrani.... I'd die if anything ever happened to any of you.

I'll live with the walls, the fights, the distance... as long as all three of you are fine.

Love you.