My Rain Person...

If you were to ask me as to what the rain means to me, I'd probably not be able to give you an answer. Because the emotions that rain or a storm evokes in me is not something I can put down in words, it can only be felt. But I could tell you of this other person to whom the rains mean the same thing. She could probably put it down in words for you, she's the best writer I have come across in a long long time. :)

Today when it started raining the first thing I did was message her. 1 simple message which said... 'brishti porche!' followed by a smiley. There was a time when I could have been sure that the rains would remind her of me as well. But I don't know if I ought to still have that level of confidence. Maybe I am being delusional, maybe what meant so much to me did after all mean nothing to her. But then again there's this voice at the back of my mind which says its not possible. How long did we have together? 2 months max... but can the depth of friendship be measured by time alone? And if time is a criteria... then what of those numerous afternoons spent in ccd talking and ordering the same foodstuff day after day? what of those trips to dakhinapan and getting high on six rounds of slushee? the nights spent on gtalk talking about nothing in particular?

When you've done so much in 2 months, it is a little difficult to just wake up one day and realize its not there any longer. The metaphorical hole that has developed in your heart wont fill itself in with logic such as 'its over. Get on with it.'

You poured too much of you into my life. Sometimes when I look at myself in the mirror I see a clear reflection of you in myself there. You've affected a lot of things about me... do you realize? the way I dress... the chunky jewelery, the bangles. Half the stuff I wear these days was either bought by you or selected by you. You ask me to forget that you exist... but what do I do with these pieces of you that you left behind?

Think of this as another nyaka post if you must. But the simple truth is that I miss you and I miss being the person I used to be when I was with you.

I'll wait, till you either turn around... or walk away. You see, I keep my promises, it wont ever be me who walked away(as if I could even if i tried!). Bleh!

Must go take a bath now. Term paper due on friday!!!