Getting Back

Everyone comes across a phase in their life when so much is happening around you that all you want to do is escape. It happened to me too, but I was lucky enough that someone actually gave me a chance to disappear for a week and leave everything behind. It felt like someone had turned the volume on the stereo down and everything was fading away in the background, the only reality that remained was the dream I was escaping into. So I let go of all pain, all qualms, irritating relatives and infuriating rules and rituals and took his hand and went away. Not everyone gets a chance like I did, I lived my fairytale week, felt my heart swell with love, felt the sunshine and indulged in an emotion that I thought I would never feel again. I guess a part of me was always aware that it would end, that I would have to come back and take charge of my mundane everyday life again, but I was too happy to pay attention to pending reality.

The week passed, my dream ended, and there I was, once again on the threshold of my bedroom. And for the first time in my life, I was not glad at the sight of it. Instead it felt so stifling. I wanted to rewind time and go back to Delhi again. I didn't want to be alone anymore, I wanted that week to last forever.Getting back had never been so difficult. I know wishful thinking gives no results, but I don't feel I have the strength to handle reality right now. I'll cling on to my memories, I'll live in my cocoon, I'll survive on those conversations we had, I'll smile to myself remembering the time we spent together. Don't ask me to open my eyes, don't ask me to stop feeling what I feel, for emotions never had a 'stop' button. I willingly drank from the poisoned chalice, and I'll have to suffer this exquisite agony.